What is healing? Why do we need to heal as individuals? Healing is a process I never knew I needed. A blessing in disguise that is misinterpreted and sometimes misunderstood. Why me? Why did I have to experience this? Why was I put through so much trauma and hurt? Why does my heart and soul and every inch of myself feel as though I can’t gasp for air, and why do I want to stop trying..I believe that we are meant to go through unimaginable hardships to become our best selves. Just when I thought I had been through enough, that my last straw had finally come, I couldn’t help but to question one last why. I somehow felt like this is what I needed to finally let go of my old toxic tendencies. To outgrow a past version of myself that no longer serves me. To finally be the best version of myself I can possibly be, and more.
Though scary and unfamiliar, those are the characteristics that make growth. I am growing, I am healing, and I am acknowledging my trauma. I am acknowledging my hurt, but I am not setting up camp there. I let myself feel the emotions, but I don’t let them consume me. I am choosing to accept the hurt, but I am not letting it define me. What keeps the fire ignited in me is the feelings of positive discomfort. Change is supposed to be uncomfortable and you’re supposed to second guess it. My therapist had told me that your emotions are like a leaf flowing down a river. Sometimes they’ll get stuck on a branch or an unsettling rock, and it might even be struggling to release from its captivity, but you are the bystander. You are the individual who decides if you want to entertain the struggle, or set the leaf down its way. That is what healing is all about, acknowledging your leaves, then setting them free…and that growth right there, is beautiful.
You do not have to be fully healed to feel like you are ready to start. Start that project you’ve been putting off, start your routine, start to open up your heart again. Healing is not a linear process. You will always be in a constant state of healing for as long as you continue to accept growth. You are meant to hurt, you are meant to break down, and you are meant to lose every ounce of your soul, in order to bloom into your field of sunflowers. Your brightest days are just ahead of you. Water will soon start to trickle down and nourish your roots. Learning to love yourself to the fullest capacity and beyond is what makes a healed heart so sacred. Your vulnerability is what makes your aura shine and an advantage that no one can take away from you. You are so forgiving, and you are loving of all things in this world, even when they are not the kindest. Embrace the growth throughout your healing journey, because you are worthy.
with love always,
yaz
disclaimer: we are not licensed professionals. this is by no means any medical advice. what will work for you is not subject to work for other individuals. if you are suffering from a mental illness please seek professional help by alerting a loved one and dialing 988 in a crisis. please dial 911 for emergencies.